Your face makes me smile and your music choices make me happy. Love you, sweet friend Xoxo
Thank you Kristy, this message just made my entire week!
You’ve been with me here since my very first week on Tumblr, over two years ago, and your smiling face on my dash has never failed to brighten even my most difficult of days. You were my ‘gateway’ into this larger, wonderful community here, and I truly treasure the friendship we have built.
At first I wasn’t sure if I should post this, or keep it just for myself in my messages, but then I realized that: A) I’ll probably be able to actually find it again much easier among my posts, and B) This week has truly been about the spirit of LOVE here on Tumblr, and I can’t think of a better way to spread more ‘Joy for Julie’ than by continuing in that spirit, and telling each other how much we’ve grown to care for the amazing friends we’ve made here.
I love you too, my sweet friend, and I can’t wait for the day to come when I’ll finally be able to meet you & hug you in person! xoxo
As is so often the case with many of my friendships here, Julie and I initially connected over our mutual love of music. - I quickly picked up on some of her favorite bands, and would usually try to post them for her when I saw that she was having a particularly difficult day.
The album version of this is the last song that I can clearly remember her reblogging from me earlier this year, so tonight I’d like to dedicate this live version of it to her…
Foo Fighters - February Stars
“Hanging on Here until I’m gone Right where I belong Just hanging on
Even though I watched you come and go How was I to know you’d steal the show? One day I’ll have enough to gamble I’ll wait to hear your final call Bet it all
Hanging on Here until I’m gone Right where I belong Just hanging on
Even though, passed this time alone Somewhere so unknown It heals the soul
You ask for walls, I’ll build them higher We’ll lie in shadows of them all I’d stand but they’re much too tall And I fall
February stars Floating in the dark Temporary scars February stars…”
I’ve been trying to find the words all day… I haven’t known Julie for as long as many of you have, we began following each other shortly after her battle with cancer had already begun, but I’ve witnessed her courageous spirit throughout this fight and know how much of an inspiration she’s been for so many of us.
What’s been truly remarkable for me about getting to know her over the past year or so is seeing that her unbelievable courage is only surpassed by her immense sweetness & kind spirit. As so many of you have mentioned today, even when faced with an unimaginably difficult struggle herself, she so often seemed more worried about us, her friends, and if everything was okay with our lives. - Just seeing the tremendous outpouring of support for her today is all the evidence you need to see how many of our lives she’s touched.
A musical aside that I think she would appreciate: Today at work, while I was reading through so many of your wonderful posts about her, I started hearing this chorus begin to repeat from my mp3 player: “…People can you feel it, Love is everywhere…” - Somehow, out of over 8,000 tracks in the playlist that was shuffling, the Allman Brothers’ Revival just happened to randomly play, and I’m not sure there could’ve been a more appropriate song for the moment… Just seeing the love and support expressed for Julie today was amazing and truly overwhelming.
I really didn’t mean to completely disappear for two days from here, I reaggravated an old back/sciatic nerve injury on Saturday, and by time Saturday night rolled around (when it took me almost 40 minutes to crawl backwards out of bed because I couldn’t even roll over off of my stomach), I was afraid that I had majorly fucked it up.
Thankfully, over the past two days it seems to be improving a bit: I’ve only involuntarily cursed-out "Mother-Fucker!" a few times while putting on my socks & shoes the past two mornings, as opposed to the TEN times I shouted that out while putting them on Sunday morning… Then to top-off the “fun” on Sunday, I had to go to an all-day, outside birthday party for my 6 year-old great nephew while barely being able to move (and with a SHIT-TON of little kids there, so I had to bite my tongue from swearing every time I moved wrong, or had to get whatever toys they were throwing around out from under the picnic tables.)
I really wanted to write about this on Saturday night, especially after my 40 minute crawl from bed, across my apartment to my freezer, hoping to get my old gel icepack for my lower back… when I finally got there, it was missing from the freezer and had been replaced by a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam where the icepack should’ve been. Once I got done cursing out my nephew (who luckily wasn’t home that night to hear it), I promptly grabbed the bottle of Jim Beam, and used that to ice my lower back. - I went to go write on Tumblr after that (around 1am Sat night/Sunday morning), but found that just trying to lean up to the keyboard to write more than a few words was far too painful.
This is probably a bit disjointed because I cut & pasted some of it from the few partial drafts I started writing between Saturday night and yesterday. - I’m just glad that I’ve been able to get it mostly healed up by myself so far, without having to go back to the doctor’s because I absolutely have NO time for Dr. appointments currently… Hell, I couldn’t even take either of the past two days off to rest it because I knew I’d have too much work waiting for me if I did. (Ugh!)
Have I mentioned recently that I’m a workaholic?!! Oh yeah, that’s right, I *DID* just last week in fact! :P
The Doors - Build Me A Woman[Live At The Aquarius Theatre - Recorded July 21st, 1969]
An interesting bluesy version of this song, that I just heard for the first time earlier tonight. I was definitely surprised to hear Jim Morrison break-out the term "Mother-Fucker" a couple times during this performance.
"Well I don’t know what I’m looking for But I know that I just want to look some more And I won’t be satisfied Til there’s nothing left that I haven’t tried
For some people it’s an easy choice But for me there’s a devil and an angel’s voice Well I don’t know what I’m looking for But I know that I just want to look some more
Well I don’t know what I’m living for But I know that I just want to live some more And you hear it from strangers and you hear it from friends That love never dies, and love never ends
And I don’t want to argue, no I don’t want to fight Cause you’re always wrong and I’m always right Well I don’t know what I am living for But I know that I just want to live some more
I used to be involved and I felt like a king Now I’ve lost it all, and I don’t feel a thing I may never grow up, I may never give in And I blame this world that I live in
I was in hell on a daily basis And I see the sadness in all your faces I’ve got friends who were married and their lives seemed complete And here I am still stumbling down a darkened street A darkened street…
And I act like a child, and I’m insecure And I’m filled with doubt, and I’m immature Sometimes it creeps up on me And before I know it I’m lost at sea
But no matter how far I roam I always find my way back home But I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for But I know that I don’t want to wait anymore.”
'Get to know me' Monday... (so late that I'm crossing into 'Truthful Tuesday')
Hi, I’m Rob, and I’m a Tumblrholic…
I’m 39, but the big 4-0 is breathing down the back of my neck, and will be hitting in mid-November (the 14th).
I live in Northeastern CT (aka- the poor side of the state). I still live in the same town I was born in, grew-up in, and went to grammar, middle, high school & college in.
I’ve never been married, and have only been engaged once before, (stupidly) when I was 18. - There have been a few near-misses over the years, but I’ve now been completely single for a little over eight years.
I’ve never had kids (there were also a few “near-misses” there as well.) - And at this point, I’ve accepted that it’s probably never going to happen for me.
Thankfully I have MANY nephews & nieces to spoil instead, because my older (and only) brother has a full BROOD of them! (Seven in total, between the ages of 11 and 26! -Plus, now three GREAT-nephews!)
My oldest nephew has lived with me since he was paroled from prison back in March. After many, many years of living alone, I *still* haven’t completely gotten used to having someone else living in my apartment… But I’ve gotten much better about it.
I have only one tattoo, but it has a lot of meaning to me because of the family story behind it. - I eventually want to get more, but have never found anything that would come close to the specialness of my first one.
I swear A LOT! - My usual “goto” swear is Mother-Fucker… it just crosses my lips before I even think to stop it anymore.
I’ve worked for the past 11 years in Data Integrity for a Psychiatric/Substance Abuse Hospital, mostly overseeing our 10 satellite Partial Day-Treatment Programs.
I am a workaholic with a tendency to stay with jobs forever. I was at my previous place of employment for well over 13 years… I also never took a break between these jobs, and actually overlapped doing both for a month. (You could say I have a fear of being unemployed.)
I’m a perfectionist with a lot of OCD-traits, but only for specific things. I usually try to tweak it and use it to my advantage, especially for work (catching other people’s billing mistakes, insurance errors, typos, etc.)… This also usually leads me to take FOREVER to finish writing posts, because I’ll end-up editing them a bunch of times before I post them.
Related: I’ve already edited this post three times.
I LOVE MUSIC. I originally started this Tumblr a couple of years ago to mainly post music, after missing doing my old radio show from my college days… I also began collecting vinyl records again over the past year, after having my love for it renewed through talking with other Tumblrs.
I’m usually quiet & shy when I first meet new people, but once I get to know you I definitely talk more, and let my sense of humor & snarkyness out… Many of my old college roommates used to like to compare me to ‘Chandler’ from Friends because of my perfectly-timed one-liners. […And because I had an on-again/off-again girlfriend at the time who was very ‘Janice’-like, both in tenacity & annoyance factor.]
I used to be afraid to be alone, now I usually crave it.
I’m a “cat person”, who hasn’t actually had cats of my own in over a year, since my two longtime cats(the oldest of which I had since 1994) both passed-away within months of each other last summer… I still miss those fuckers.
The best thing to happen to me over the past year was breaking out of my hermit-like shell, and meeting a bunch of you over the past 10 months… Now I want to eventually meet ALL of you!
Okay, this list is too long, and now I’ve edited it 10 times! (…I obviously NEED help!)
Vinyl Sunday, part II: Since we were talking about high school memories, I spent a good portion of the second half of my Junior year editing together a very elaborate music video for this song, from old news footage for my TV Production class. I was always very proud of that video, especially my edit of Vernon Reid’s guitar solo set perfectly to some old Vietnam fire-fight footage. If I can ever find an easy way of converting the old tape from VHS to digital I may post it someday.
It took me many years to be able to listen to this song again after all of those months in the editing bay, listening to it over & over again, while trying to make precise cuts, especially trying to match up the famous quotes to the news footage (…and finally realizing that they sped-up JFK’s “Ask not…” line just a bit, so trying to match it with his lips was futile.)
[Apologies in advance: This post became A LOT longer than I planned it to be when I began writing it a few hours ago. - Also, I couldn’t get the 'read more' break to work properly.]
Since it now appears we’ve expanded this Graduation meme since I answered my year(‘90) last night, let me expand on that post:
My high school graduating class was a fairly large one, I don’t remember my rank, but I know I was in the top 15 percentile, out of a few hundred in our class. I could’ve done better, as I usually was great at test-taking thanks to having a photographic memory, but my downfall was writing papers, I was extremely lazy about them, and many times would just blow them off and let my high test grades keep me from failing the class.
I was one of those kids who pretty much got along with most of the various cliques (kind of like here), my friendly nature usually helped me get along with virtually everyone. I was in most of the ‘advanced’ classes, but was on the fringe of the ‘Brains’ group because I was usually the poorest one.
I fit in best with the ‘Smoker/Poor/Rebellious’ group, even though I didn’t start smoking anything until after I graduated (And btw, I went to high school so long ago that we actually HAD a permitted student smoking area in the courtyard of the school!) - These were my people, they accepted me because they knew I grew up mostly poor, in the same kind of dysfunctional situation that they experienced themselves. Even though I was in the “brainy” classes, they knew I never looked down on them, because I had grown up eating from the same soup kitchens that most of them had.
As far as the ‘Jocks’ went, I became okay with most of them after I befriended, helped out one of the more popular jocks in Algebra class sophomore year. His dad was one of the school’s tougher math teachers (and also the Track coach), but he had a lot of difficulty with the subject himself, and was too afraid to let his dad down by admitting it. While I never formally tutored him, he did begin to depend on me to help explain what was taught in class in more basic terms for him until he was able to “get it”. This went on through Alegebra’s I and II, and finally into Trigonometry in our senior year. Once I became good with him, I was accepted more throughout the ‘Jock’ clique, and sometimes helped many of them with their acedemic struggles. [I only wrote one paper for one of them, for purely financial reasons… I probably would’ve done more for cash, but I absolutely HATED writing papers!]
Most of the bullying I had experienced was in the Middle School years, and some of it carried over early in my freshman year… Thankfully over that year I began to lose a lot of my chubbiness that got me picked on in Middle School, and the combination of that along with newer kids, who didn’t know me from those awkward years, merging into our HS from different middle schools around the area helped to mostly rid me of that earlier bullying.
Truthfully, I didn’t hangout with anyone from school outside of school for the first two years. My best friend, Adam, that I spent ALL of my afterschool/weekend time with was a real-life “Doogie Howser” (except that he was a mathematics & computer genius), and had started in COLLEGE at age 13, the same year I started High School!
Adam & I, before my HS graduation.
Adam’s university (and much later, also MY university) was right across the street from my high school, so most of the time I would just go and hangout with him and his older college friends. I eventually became accepted by them, much faster than members of my own peer group. (Which eventually led to my “first-time” being with a female college friend of his when I was 16, and she was about 20 or 21… I didn’t find out that he had actually orchestrated the whole “situation” to happen, like a genius puppet-master, until after it had already happened.)
In the summer after my sophomore year (1988), I began working at age 15, and finally began becoming good friends with a few people from my high school, who were now also coworkers of mine, along with kids my age from other high schools around the area who worked there. The high school friend I began to hang around with most was a tall, grumpy Ukranian named Miroslav, who was about a foot taller than me, which always was fun for photo opportunities.
Miroslav was Batman to my Robin, on Halloween ‘89.
As far as dating went, it was rare that I ever dated anyone from my OWN high school. I had a major crush from Freshman year through most of my Junior year on a sweet girl named Connie, who was also almost a foot taller than me. The height difference never deterred me, but she unfortunately wasn’t interested in dating someone that much shorter. We ended up being great friends, taking all three years of Latin together (and for that last year, we were the ONLY two students in the class.) She’s one of the few people from high school that I would absolutely love to catch-up with, but sadly she’s also about the only one that I’ve never seen on any social-networking platform over the past couple of decades.
Toward the end of my Junior year (shortly before my Junior Prom), I began dating my “first-love”, Carolyn, who I met through work and went to a different high school one town over from me. (I’ve posted about her a couple times before, here and here.) We ended up dating for well over a year, going to both my Junior *and* Senior Proms together. She surprised me a couple of years ago when she suddenly appeared across the room at my step-mother’s wake… And after two decades, she *still* made my knees weak & stomach have butterflies when I saw her!
Me, with Carolyn, before my Junior Prom (May 1989).
There have been two class reunions, and I’ve skipped both of them for different reasons. For the ten year reunion, I didn’t go because I was a bit embarrassed to still be working at the job I had in high school. Then I skipped my twenty year reunion two years ago when I saw that most of the people I wanted to see had decided not to go… Plus, I was very self-conscious about my teeth at the time, which was one of the driving factors in me spending a LOT of money to get them fixed almost a year ago (remember back when I wouldn’t smile in photos?!!)
Sorry for the novel here… This is probably more than I’ve written on Tumblr in over two years! - I’ll now go back to quietly posting music! :P
I was 17 when I graduated… Then had the absolute best summer of my life, and didn’t hit 18 until five months later.
I was feeling old earlier this week, when I realized the "Countdown to Forty" was now less than three months away, and then I remembered something: I outlasted almost ALL of the “youngsters” last Saturday night in NYC, so fuck it: I’m just going to embrace being a ‘youthful’ old fart!
Bruce Springsteen - “Darkness on the Edge of Town”
Recorded at Fenway Park on Aug. 15, 2012. Have I mentioned how much I loved this concert? Yes I have. But now I’d like to note how happy I am to have a great recording of it, thanks to the internet and the under-appreciated efforts of tapers risking equipment and limb in an effort to document this stuff.
This concert is not coming off my iPod any time soon.
You are so cute. So much fun doing the tour with you!
Thank you, I had such a great time too! And thanks again for having the foresight to get extra tickets! I’m so glad I went! (-Which reminds me, I still want to write something special about that amazing experience.)